South Melboune Market

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South Melbourne Market, 322-326 Coventry St, South Melbourne.

Having mused on the mindset that allows us to treat a suburb as far distant as Coburg as part of own backyard yet finds South and Port Melbourne – just over the bridge – pretty much out of sight and mind, it seems a fine time to make a relatively rare visit to South Melbourne Market.

Any hopes the shocking weather will ease the car-parking situation are confirmed as forlorn as I ascend to the roof-top and several patience-taxing delays.

There’s a lot of folks looking spaces.

The first two hours of parking are free, which is good.

All the ATMs appear to be of the $2.50 variety, which is bad.

It’s obviously been a while as many changes to the market are noted.

A part of the market interior now has several stalls of a more upmarket variety – manchester, clothes, shoes and even flash bicycles.

The whole of the Cecil St side of the market has acquired a series of more-or-less bona fide restaurants – Chinese dumplings/roast meats, Italian, Spanish, seafood – to join the familiar SMM dimmies.

The street stall paella sure looks and smells a whole heap better than is usually the case with such ricey enterprises.

Perversely if somewhat predictably, I still prefer the old-school food hall on the other side of the market.

More room, cheaper prices, proximity to the fabulous deli, meat and seafood stalls …

Equally predictably and perversely, I am lured to the Vietnamese stall called BaBa.

They have banh mi makings on display and you can get soup noodles and vermicelli dishes here.

But my eye is drawn to the stall’s Indian dishes.

Indian and Vietnamese?

I’ve seen Indian and kebabs, Indian and pizza, but this is a first.

My plate of vegetable curry, dal and rice, a can of soft drink and a meat samosa costs $12.50.

The samosa is on the oily side, but the filling is good and meaty. The parcel as a whole could only loosely be described as Indian food, though. No matter!

It has a nice chilli kick, as do my two plate courses.

The curry of carrot, beans, onion and more starts at a nice clip but fades off the pace a bit.

The dal is much better – yellow split peas with a nice touch of firmness left in them, the whole having a plain but very appealing flavour.

That’s down to, I subsequently discover, crushed tomatoes, tamarind, turmeric, salt and water.

While in the food hall, I grab a bag of Turkish rolls from Aroma Bakery.

These may be just right for lunches for the forthcoming week, feeling as they do a bit fresher and lighter than the supermarket variety or their ciabatta cousins.

We usually find both too heavy, stale and/or large, so the balance of bread to filling is way out of whack.

I get my post-lunch coffee from Padre, which seems to be one of those new-school cool coffee chains staffed exclusively by young hipsters.

My cafe latte is perfect, outstanding and puts a smile on my dial.

I have an interesting conversation with Ida from Ida’s Alterations.

Me, pointing at the sign: “Ida’s such lovely old-fashioned name – are you Ida?”

Ida: “My son, my son …”

Me: “Your son’s name is Ida?”

Ida: “No, the sign, the sign!”

Right – she’s Ida, he did the sign …

I grab onions, silverbeet and apples from one of the fresh stalls.

South Melbourne Market?

Nice for a visit every now and then.

But I still had to stop in Anderson St for milk, yogurt and dishwash liquid.

Padre Coffee on Urbanspoon

Waldies 7th Birthday Sausage Sizzle

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Waldies, 168 Victoria St, Seddon. Phone: 9689 3806

A couple of $2 snags-in-bread topped with Maggi mustard does me fine for lunch.

And none of your fancy pants kranskys, either, thank you very much.

The sausage sizzle hosted by one of our local old-school bakeries is being run on behalf of the Hyde Street Youth Band, which has been a performing unit since 1928.

The kids play some goofy, fun stuff that has echoes of New Orleans.

The barbie is manned cheerfully by Greg and Pina.

Mr Waldie himself (below) tells me it’s about the fifth year he’s had the band crew in for a birthday gig/sizzle and he really loves having them there.

Waldies Bakery on Urbanspoon

Motorino delivers

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Motorino, 29a Vernon St, South Kingsville. Phone 9399 2121

We’ve let Motorino, Kingsville’s popular and by all accounts very cool pizza ‘n’ pasta place, escape our attentions thus far.

But the arrival in our letterbox of a menu and the vital information the place is doing home deliveries allows scope for a special treat.

The order is …

One large Smashed Sicilian green olive pizza with Motorino pesto, ricotta, bocconcini and chilli ($14).

One Salad Motorino of iceberg lettuce, bocconcini, tomato, cucumber, red onion, lemon, olive oil and Kalamata olives ($11).

The pie is barely lukewarm by the time it’s made the short journey to Yarravile but it matters not – because this is a ripper.

There’s no discernible chilli quotient, but there’s basil leaves along with the advertised ingredients.

The various flavours work really well together, though some may find this blend a bit on the salty side.

This is one of the cheaper and lighter pizzas on the Motorino menu and it’s a clear winner, with enough topping to make a meal yet not to make the base soggy, with crusts nicely crunchy but just as yummo as the rest.

The salad is not of the same high standard.

There’s certainly plenty of it.

And the lettuce, cheese balls, onion, olives, tomato and cumber are all fresh as.

But somehow the end result is less than the sum of its parts, even when doused with accompanying tub of olive oil and drizzled with the contents of the juicy lemon wedge.

Perhaps the plainer, cheaper rocket, olive oil, balsamic and parmesan salad ($9) would be a better choice.

Still, based on this meal it seems little wonder Motorino is so well loved.

And it’s certainly a big step up in class from our usual pizza delivery results. The tangy green olives on the pizza, for instance, belong in a different world from the rancid little black turds of olive found on your basic Aussie pizza.

Could be it’s time for a visit!

There seems to be no minimum order for Motorino home delivery but there is a modest delivery fee of $2.

The Motorino website is here.

Motorino on Urbanspoon

Dragon Express

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Dragon Express, 28 City Place, Sunshine. Phone: 9312 6968

Some of the overwhelming positives of doing Consider The Sauce have been somewhat as expected.

One of those is the fact that of joyful necessity we’ve found ourselves roaming far and wide, knocking on strange doors and venturing down alleyways we may never have otherwise contemplated, finding fine food at the end of our journeys with regular non-monotony.

But there have been many unexpected delights along the way, too.

High among them is the continuing pleasure of getting feedback from fellow westie food lovers and many others, some of whom are becoming friends and dining companions.

But perhaps the most unexpected joy of the “job” is putting bums on seats of eateries that richly deserve them to be there.

Honestly, we lost count long ago of the number of restaurant staff, managers, owners, cooks and families who have thanked us so charmingly for simply writing it as we saw it.

Often enough, too, this sort of gratitude has come from businesses likely – in some cases extremely unlikely – to get a run on most other Melbourne food blogs, let along in the press, be it The Age, Herald Sun or the suburban rags.

Nor by and large have these fulsome “thank yous” come from joints likely to have a marketing or media social strategy, or even know what social media is.

However, this has led to a bit of a dilemma for the Consider The Sauce team.

We are these days being offered free food on a somewhat regular basis.

We’ve had to explain that, no, we are not looking for a free feed and we’re not going to charge for a run on our site.

Nor are we out there actively seeking freebie meals, as some blogs seem to do.

If any restaurateur tried to buy a positive review with free food we’d not only refuse, we’d probably flee and eat elsewhere.

However, when the offer is made for words already written and as a symbol of gratitude, it seems to us things get a bit more tricky.

So along the way, a few coffees have gone unpaid for.

A scrumptious gulab jamun has been added as an extra on the basis of a post written some weeks before.

The most startling event along these lines came with our Saturday lunch at Oriental Charcoal BBQ, when the staff – once they realised bloggers and friends were in the house – proceeded to brings out several more dishes for us to try.

Look, we’ll always endeavour to pay our way.

We’ll be upfront when we don’t, including a disclaimer in the post and its end – but hopefully not as longwinded as this one!

But there comes a point when continuing to refuse hospitality being offered out of gratitude for a piece written under genuine review guidelines becomes uncomfortable and maybe even rude.

Does that sound fair? Is it a cop-out?

In any case, that is the situation that presents itself to me as I front up to Dragon Express in Sunshine for a mid-week lunch.

Bennie and I had enjoyed our earlier visit there, and copies of the review from that visit now adorn both the front window and inside walls of the restaurant, along with similar epistles from Footscray Food Blog and The Age.

On a subsequent visit to the area, Dragon Express owner Lim spied us, joining us on the footpath outside his restaurant to express his gratitude and maintain with some determination that he would not hear of us paying for our next visit.

So it goes … take that on board when reading what follows!

Whereas my earlier meal here with Bennie had involved very enjoyable but more or less straight-up Cantonese dishes, this lunchtime I am bent on exploring some of the more exotic areas of the restaurant’s menu.

And I intend to do so without getting too hung up about concepts of authenticity.

If it’s good … that’s great!

Two beef curry puffs, for instance are very enjoyable – but quite different from you’ll find at your favourite Malaysian eating house.

Crisp, flaky pastry (filo?) well fried and ungreasy; tasty potato and nobbly mince filling that seems a little more like a samosa filling than the smooth mash usually found in curry puffs.

The Indian echoes are, of course, accentuated by the puffs’ triangular shape.

They’re tasty snacks at a good price.

I muse on what a Dragon Express laksa may taste like, then order something I haven’t eaten for quite a long while – in any sort of restaurant.

My hokkien mee ($10) is, frankly, delicious, but again very much like a Chinese restaurant doing its take on a Malaysian staple.

There’s no prawns or fish cake for starters, and the protein bits frolicking happily with the fat noodles – chicken, beef, pork – are all cut in the Chinese fashions, as are the greens.

None of this matters a bit to me, because it’s a winning combo, the rich, dark, sweet and sticky sauce being a more than acceptable facsimile of those found in Malaysian places.

But wait – there’s more!

Served on the side is a small bowl of the house-made chilli oil, something I’ve never been provided with hokkien mee or any other sort of Malaysian noodles.

But, oh man, this stuff is great!

Unlike the chilli oil found in Vietnamese pho places and the like, this is dry and crunchy.

It provides spiciness, texture AND a smoky flavour to my noodles and I love it a lot.

Lim tells me it’s made from very finely diced onion, from which the juice is extracted, oil, salt and chilli.

Before I leave, Lim and I shake hands on it – this will be our first, last and only freebie.

An interesting conversation about the ethics, ins and outs of bloggers, reviewers, journalists and other freeloaders (!) accepting freebie food can be found in the comments that accompany the review of The Reading Room at Footscray Food Blog.

My meal at Dragon Express was provided free of charge by the owner. Dragon Express has not been given any editorial control of this post.

Dragon Express on Urbanspoon

Half Moon Cafe

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Half Moon Cafe, 13 Victoria St, Coburg. Phone: 9350 2949

After checking out – with some conscious method – Wang Wang Dumpling, Abbout Falafel House, Al-Alamy and Cafe Sarabella, it’s time to visit Half Moon Cafe and put a big tick against the last of the eateries that have called to me so eloquently to this fabulous stretch of Sydney Rd in recent times.

I’m sure there are many more fab places, fine food and great meals to be had here but these are the ones that first had me making the occasional drive from Yarraville.

For the finest of company I’ve today got Kurt, who is more than happy to get out of his abode and head out on something of mini-road trip.

Half Moon Cafe is a tiny joint of the Middle Eastern persuasion that is just a few doors along from Cafe Sarabella in the Victoria St mall.

The signage outside includes the boast: “Falafel Egyptian Style.”

Made with fava beans rather than chick peas, this is of course the ordering route we both embark on after snagging an outside table.

But first we try a small serve of three stuffed vines leaves ($2.50).

I love ’em, though Kurt is no big fan regardless of standards of excellence.

They’re lemony and firm of build – perfect. Oddly, the smallness of the cigars helps their cause – two mouthfuls apiece seems so right.

My falafel plate ($12) is fine.

The falafel balls are indeed worthy of their reputation – tender but grease-free, full of flavour (but not much different to chick pea falafels so far as I can tell) and coloured a fetching dark green.

Three dips are on board – the clear winner is the smoky eggplant number on the right.

The tabouli is lemony and wet as suits my preferences.

The pickled cucumber and turshi are fine, too, though the olives get lost between the hummus and a chick pea salad that is a little on the undressed side.

The lettuce, rocket and red cabbage seem a tad extraneous.

It’s a beaut lunch at a good price.

I confess to preferring Abbout Falafel House for delivering virtually the same lineup of goodies with a touch more class and finesse, but it’s a close call.

Kurt, meanwhile, loves the hell out if his $7 falafel wrap with fetta cheese, chilli and many of the same protagonists that grace my plate.

As we sit back after our lunch, watching the passing parade in the autumn sunshine, we both wish aloud that Footscray’s mall could boast such a lively, friendly, relaxed and unthreatening ambience.

A sign behind the serving counter more or less guarantees that one or both of us will be returning to Half Moon Cafe soon.

Half Moon Café on Urbanspoon

N-Joy Gourmet Foods Salami & Goats Cheese Pizza

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Seen those vacuum-packed pizzas that seem to have become all the rage of supermarket stockists in the past year or so?

There seems to be several suppliers providing them to all our regular supermarket haunts.

They certainly look nice with their sort-of fresh ingredients on display – they look much better, in fact, than your normal supermarket pizzas from the freezer, which we’d never consider buying.

We’ve tried a number of them by now.

Some have been OK.

Just.

Some – most – have been awful.

Even when the toppings have passed muster, the problem has been getting the pies crispy – despite following the cooking instructions scrupulously.

Crispy?

Nah.

More like flaccid, limp, soggy.

This is our first road test of a N-Joy Gourmet Foods pizza.

As well as the advertised cheese and meat there’s olives and artichoke bits. Well actually, they’re more like artichoke shavings.

Get the oven real hot and into it goes our pizza.

After fives minutes or so the verdict is … hmmmm, certainly smells the business.

When it’s just about done, a big bubble has, um, bubbled up in the centre of the pie.

Out of the oven it comes to be sliced.

The spicy salami rather heavily dominates.

The goats cheese tastes good but it’s a bit overwhelmed and there’s only so much of it.

The olives and artichoke shavings are relegated to decoration status.

Happily, though, it has form and structure – it’s something approaching crispiness and a slice can be held in one hand rather than two.

This is the best of its ilk we’ve tried … so far.

Meanwhile, it’s fair to say that those pizza purists who start from scratch AND those more pragmatic folk who use store-bought bases or even pita bread really do have a point.

Cup & Bean follow-up …

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Cup & Bean, 20 Wembley Ave, Yarraville. Phone: 0459 075 207

Wembley Ave in Yarraville has become one of our favourite places to stop by, what with Cup & Bean and Mishra’s Kitchen living companionably side by side.

Tim continues to create superb coffees for us when we drop in, and we’ve also snagged a few on our way to Saturday morning sports fixtures.

This short follow-up post is all about singing the praises of the really fine stuffed baguette sandwiches Tim is also creating.

The sourdough baguettes are par-baked to about the 80 per cent mark and then snap frozen before Tim takes delivery of them, and he does the rest at his leisure.

I sometimes find the idea of baguette is better than the reality, with the crustiness frequently taken to gum-shredding heights.

Not so here.

The bread is firm on the outside but fresh and bready on the inside – marvellous in fact!

Mine is filled with wonderfully fresh ingredients – leaves, cheddar, tomato, avocado, some mayo to help things along and, especially fine, thick slices of ham and stacks of them.

A perfectly yummo light lunch for $6 when another bowl of noodles or curry or rice is a stretch too far.

My coffee, as ever, is wonderful.

Cup & Bean on Urbanspoon

Xuan Xinh

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Xuan Xinh, 52 Alfrieda St, St Albans. Phone: 9362 1544

Self-evidently, Xuan Xinh has a name.

It has street signage saying so, too.

But this has to be the most anonymous eatery on busy Alfrieda St.

Like Pho Kim Long just up the street, this is a local hangout, but one I’d guess even less likely to pull in visitors to the area looking for a good feed.

Aside from right here, you’ll not find bloggers or newspaper foodie bits extolling its virtues, nor any love – or even a mention – at Urbanspoon.

But that sort of anonymity and the steady parade of regular and hungry customers have their own appeal.

There’s banh mi makings on display, but most of the eat-in customers have their food out of bowls rather than buns.

I’d not call myself a regular here, but over the course of several visits I’ve endeavoured to discover what it is these customers are having for lunch.

But so unused are the staff to having non-Vietnamese speaking customers and so monumentally lacking is my understanding of same that such inquiries have, perhaps inevitably, ended up in all-round bewilderment.

All I know is there’s a congee on the menu, some chicken dishes, too; and next to the banh mi ingredients are a beef stew and a dish of pork ribs and hardboiled eggs.

I’m cool with it, as I suspect I’ll always order what I always order – the chicken curry.

This is a utilitarian eating space that has a comfy, lived-in feel.

I’m well used to biding my time in Indian joints by flipping with interest through copies of the various incarnations of the Indian street press.

But reading with equal interest the Filipino street press in a Vietnamese place? Definitely a first!

To go with my chook curry I can choose rice or roll.

I go the baguette route.

It’s sensationally fresh – crunchy on the outer, moist and almost doughy on the inside, perfect dipped in the curry.

Slurp, slurp!

My curry is perfection.

Three pieces of impeccably tender and tasty chicken, with the meat simply falling away from the bones.

One big and tender but not mushy potato.

Some coriander.

Curry gravy that is ever so mild, with just a whisper of spice kick.

The price? $8 – and that’s perfect, too.

Point Cook Homestead

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Point Cook Homestead, 1 Point Cook Homestead Rd, Point Cook. Phone: 9395 1213

It’s a bleak, wintry day for a seaside visit.

But it’s magical anyway – making landfall at Point Cook Homestead and being knocked out by the stunning beauty of the grounds and the relaxed, charming atmosphere of the restaurant.

Happily envisaging, too, future visits for picnics and more when the weather is warmer and time constraints not so demanding.

We could spend days here … and may even do so, as the homestead operates as a B&B.

When completed in 1857, the homestead – its builders had a family connection with Werribee Mansion – would’ve been a long way from anywhere.

These days, suburbia in the form of Sanctuary Lakes and other developments is encroaching, but it retains a very strong feel of being far from anything urban.

Turning left before I get to the RAAF museum, the development sprawl is left behind and then I’m driving the dirt road up to the homestead grounds.

On arrival, I am greeted by a gaggle of fat, waddling and thoroughly gorgeous geese.

The restaurant is sited in a building of far more recent vintage than the homestead itself.

Mind you, it, too, has plenty of country charm.

I am the first lunch customer and the waitress is partially occupied mopping the floor in the half of the dining room in which the chairs are on the tables.

In the sunny half of the dining room destined for lunch-time business, the tabletops are all painted a dullish green and the paint is liberally scratched.

I like that.

The restaurant is open for breakfast and lunch, and dinner on Fridays, with the lunch menu offering pretty much what I expect from such an establishment.

There’s pastas and burgers and dips and caesar salads.

There’s even a surf ‘n’ turf (market price).

Never been there. Probably never will.

I’m hungry and happy, so consider ordering both the soup and the pie from the specials board – that sounds like a decent lunch for just a tad over $20.

However, after being assured that fresh oil has just been installed in the deep fryer, I do something unusual for me – I order the chicken parma ($22).

I am no parma expert, for I rarely order any of the variations of this dish – simply because most I’ve had over the years have been dull, average or dreadful.

This one doesn’t fit any of those three categories and I really enjoy my lunch.

The crumbed chicken not draped with tomato sauce, cheese and ham is crispy and ungreasy.

The chicken is real and well cooked.

I love the way the flavours of the three topping protagonists come through quite discernibly in different ways with different mouthfuls.

The shoestring chips are hot enough but just on the positive side of OK.

The salad is standard fare for such eateries, may be what the customer base expects and wants, and the ingredients are all in good nick.

But I find the hodge podge of greens, sprouts, onion, carrot and capsicum unappealing, a situation not helped by the gloopy mustard dressing.

Oh well – the parma itself more than suffices.

After lunch, I amble around just a small part of the grounds, once more delighting in the sights and fresh air, and once more already planing future visits in sunnier times.

From the beach, there’s a lovely view of the distant Melbourne CBD skyline.

The restaurant staff have told me that visitors bringing their own picnic goodies are welcome but are asked to make a donation, as the mansion and grounds are maintained by the residents rather than Parks Victoria.

And of course such visitors are unable to use the restaurant’s outdoor seating, though most I’m sure drop in for a coffee at the least.

The Point Cook Homestead website – including menu pdfs – is here.

Point Cook Homestead on Urbanspoon

Cafe Sarabella

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Cafe Sarabella, 1 Victoria St, Coburg. Phone: 9354 5239

Soul food was originally a term used to describe Afro-American food of quite a wide range cooked and eaten in the southern parts of the US, although given the migratory patterns of last century it’s easily found on both coasts and elsewhere as well.

Soul food, though, is also a perfect description for Cafe Sarabella – not just the delicious food, but also the cafe itself and the warmly welcoming vibe.

It’s situated in Victoria St Mall, which is a lively and lived-in community space.

About half the outdoor tables and chairs seem to be the territory of the various food joints that line the mall, the rest public and communal.

There’s cafes, a couple of hot looking falafel joints, a deli and more.

Every time I’ve been there the mall is chockers with locals of a dizzy range of ages, styles and national origins hanging out, often over coffee.

Cafe Sarabella – it’s named after a mother and daughter team – has been open for about seven years and serves terrific Indian food and a more.

There’s lamb dishes of Persian and Moroccan derivation, for instance, and a chicken laksa. You can get a masala dosa, too.

It’s a tiny, homely space, with seating for maybe half a dozen inside and two small outside tables.

There’s nothing small about the big-hearted and friendly service, though.

Sara, who originally hails from Kerala, runs Indian cooking classes on one Sunday a month for $75 a head.

She tells me that much of her food is made using fresh vegetables provided by her customers, so much of it is organic. In return, she either pays them or feeds them!

One such customer-inclined item is the incredible feijoa, cumquat and tomato chutney that accompanies my vegetable thali ($10.50).

It’s supremely tangy, spicy super dooper condiment.

The rest of my plate’s contents are just as fine …

Two vegetable curries, one with radish, carrots and zucchini, the other with baby carrots and green beans.

Big dollop of creamy yogurt.

Plain yet perfect yellow dal atop the rice.

The surprise is provided by melt-in-your-mouth silky tofu pieces perfectly matched with a spiced tomatoey gravy.

While many of the curries and other dishes listed on the blackboard menu are priced as main courses, Sara tells me she’s happy to assemble combo-style thali meals to suit.

Given the hefty customer input and the consequent seasonal aspect of the food here, I suspect there’s many a surprise to be had by regular visitors.

As we’re talking, she lets me try a mouthful of spud from the lamb and potato curry sitting atop the stove – it’s amazing!

But the most appealing thing about Cafe Sarabella is that it serves pure-bred home-cooked Indian food – so different from the often tasty but overly buttery, salty and rich fare served up by so many of our Indian restaurants.

There’s no fried food here – even the samosas are baked.

The Quince Poacher, a Coburg local, is a fan, too – read review here.

Open for lunch Monday-Saturday.

Cafe Sarabella on Urbanspoon

Antipasti Deli Cafe

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Antipasti Deli Cafe, 1 High St, Yarraville. Phone: 9318 0103

Yarraville Square Shopping Centre is the nearest shopping centre to our home, yet we rarely use it.

A well-stocked Coles with frequently long queues, a bottle shop, average chicken joint, a Subway – there’s not much there for us and the way we do.

Searching for details and information, this quip came up:

On a quiet night, the northern end of the parking lot affords a lovely view of the Subway store.

Turns out we’ve been missing a real gem the whole time.

When we visit for a Sunday lunch, Antipasti Deli Cafe is busy in a fetching way.

Locals and regulars are coming and going, picking up lunch makings and coffee, keeping the place humming and the staff busy.

The shop is quite small but stocked with a comprehensive range of goodies.

I suspect this place serves as a much-appreciated point for many folks putting together short-term shopping and evening meals when a full-on visit to the supermarket is not possible or warranted.

There’s all sorts of filled rolls and pies.

There’s the Sunday papers.

There’s all a good range of antipasti, cheese and dips.

There’s pasta and sauces and oils and a limited range of fresh produce.

The display of packaged biscotti and other sweeties is alluring.

There’s pasta sauces to take away – tomato, bolognese, pesto – all  for under $6.

There’s some tables inside and another half dozen or so outside.

Outside, too, there’s flowers and freezers offering all sorts of gelati and ice-cream stuff.

Antipasti Deli Cafe does cooked breakfasts, but we’re here for lunch … and what better than an antipasto platter for two, as befits the establishment’s name?

I really love the way Bennie has taken to these exercises in yumminess.

We adore the $21 spreads we get at Barkly Johnson, but a recent lacklustre and more pricey serving at a revered Carlton business showed him just how standards and quality can vary.

An earlier visit has ascertained from the boss, Fab, that they have two antipasto spreads – $15 for one and $28 for two.

We tell him that $28 sounds like too much food for we two, so he agrees to create something at the $20 mark just for us.

He may have given some weight to our lunch in the knowledge that photos are going to be taken and words are going to be written, but we are well pleased.

Our platter is meat heavy – good ham and prosciutto, some mild salami, some mortadella.

We use mortadella for week-day lunch sandwiches and rolls, so Bennie leaves it for me – and even I struggle.

The olive quotient is varied and includes large and red items we’ve never seen before. Unlike some big olives, these taste fine.

Bennie has taken a liking to artichokes, so he has his way with ours – meaning I get to scarf the tiny marinated mushrooms.

There’s two breads slices topped with what I believe is generally referred to as tomato pesto.

The two chargrilled eggplant slices are claimed by myself, while the cheese factor is represented by two globules of buffalo mozzarella.

We both like the sundried tomatoes with pesto.

I’m unsure how much of what we eat is prepared on the premises and how much is simply cracked out of bottles and other containers – but it all tastes good to us.

We finish with a good cafe latte for me and a hot chocolate for him that he opines lacks the required level of sweetness.

Could be we will become Antipasti Deli Cafe regulars.

Antipasti Deli Cafe on Urbanspoon

Safari Restaurant

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Safari Restaurant, 159 Union Rd, Ascot Vale. Phone: 9372 7175

It’s been far too long since we’ve sailed in the Safari – certainly at least since our early review of this fine Somalian eatery.

So long, in fact, we’re not even sure if it’ll be functioning as we remember on this Friday night with appetites inspired by some overdue winter outfitting.

The Consider The Sauce boys have been shopping and are hungry.

Happily, as we enter we discover everything is as we remember it. Indeed, the place seems busier than was the case on any of our previous visits.

The menu, however, seems to have been streamlined somewhat, but as we soon learn – to our complete and joyful satisfaction – the food is the same and just as good as ever.

We toy with idea of ordering Big Mandy Rice For Two ($32), but this is described to us in terms of being good for big fellas, very hungry.

So we back off and discover there’s a menu item just made for us – The Regular ($13).

This consists of a plate of Mandy Rice and your choice of lamb, beef, chicken steak or fish.

As on previous visits, our bowls of their incredible meat soup are brought before we’ve even placed our order proper.

This is a broth of lip-smacking sensations – spicy, heady with meatiness yet light on meat itself.

It’s simply wonderful.

Bennie’s chicken steak – hidden under a tasty array of grilled sautéed carrot, capsicum and onion – is more plentiful than it looks. The chicken meat is tending towards dryness but falls short enough of that to pass for tender, and has a wonderful charred-like flavour.

I like his chicken, he digs my lamb.

The sheep meat has form and structure yet is far from chewy and falls easily from the bones.

In both our cases, the rice is splendid – cooked in stock, spiced, every grain glistening.

As ever, our meals are helped along by long, tall glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice clinking with ice cubes.

Killer soup, terrific meat, sensational rice, just the right kind of vegetable accompaniment, freshly squeezed juice … $13.

This is a fantastic bargain.

The service here is friendly but efficient.

We can’t recommend Safari highly enough to anyone hankering for African eating a bit different from Footscray’s mostly Ethiopian fare.

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Sharma’s Indian Sweet & Curry House

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Sharma’s Indian Sweet & Curry House, 4/350 Taylors Rd, Taylors Lakes. Phone: 9356 4400

A spur-of-the-moment email earlier in the week had ascertained that, yes indeed, we had pals only too eager to join the Consider The Sauce boys for an Anzac Day lunch feast.

After a bit of umming and ahhing, we settle on Sharma’s Indian Sweet & Curry House in Taylors Lakes – it’s a bit of a drive, but all hands are keen.

Those hands being Bennie and his dad; Bruce and his daughter, Maddy, who joined us for a memorable Saturday lunch not so long ago and who this time bring the other sibling, Josie, along for the fun; and our pal Nat, a sort of Mr Prolific of Urbanspoon

As it turns out, Anzac Day weather is of extreme suckiness, so what better way to spend the day than heading out on a curry adventure?

I’d visited Sharma’s on my ownsome some time ago, but am pleased that everyone is keen as I am to pursue the rather extensive menu further.

First up, we are delivered a bowl of freshly fried papadums.

They’re oily but crisp. Best of all, they’re on the house – and good on management for that, easily producing some goodwill at little cost where other eateries see only a chance for more profit.

It takes a while, but we knuckle down with a rather broad order that we hope will please everyone at least some of the time and leave us all happily contented.

Here’s what we get:

Atish bahaar sizzler ($16.50) – two each of samosas, onion bhaji, aloo tikki and veg pakora.

Special goat curry ($13.50).

Chicken butter cream ($12.50).

Tava chicken ($12.50) – a curry with herbs, spices, coriander and ginger.

Singapore Punjab noodles ($11.50).

Two serves of plain rice ($3.50 each)

Four plain naan ($2 each).

We order mild levels of spiciness to fit in with Bennie, who has become a bit gun shy of chilli in the past few months. Mild we get, to the, um, mild disappointment of some – especially Josie, who turn out to be something of a Spice Princess!

The snack combo platter (top picture) is very fine – good value for sharing, with a variety of different flavours and textures, and all for the most part remarkably grease-free.

It becomes a bit messy as we try to make sure each of us has taste of each component, but it’s all good fun.

The various fried snacks are served with some tamarind syrup and a mint relish that is less creamy and more spicy and piquant than those normally found in Indian restaurants. It’s a beaut flavour hit.

The chicken butter cream (left) and special goat curry (right) find favour with those who lobbied for their inclusion.

Those digging the goat concoction agree that the bone-sucking involved in meals made with cheaper cuts of meat is priceless.

The tava chicken is nice enough, too, though to me seems to symbolise the curries generally – very much of the onion/tomato/cream/spices gravy base and less of the spectacularly individual dishes we have enjoyed lately at Mishra’s Kitchen and Yummy India. Though both those places do your standard curry house recipes as well.

Singapore Punjab noodles – unsurprisingly when you think about the connections – is basically just a vegetarian mee goreng. It’s nice, though, and adds a bit of variety, colour, contrast and vegetable matter to our meal.

Our plain naan breads are fine specimens of their kind.

As Bruce says, ordering them is a good way to find out if a curry house has its mojo going.

We’ve all enjoyed a lovely lunch.

Aside from the already mentioned curry uniformity, I’d also point out that the serves are rather modest and the meat quotient on the low side.

No matter, really – everyone is happy to adhere to the spirit of “it’s not the meat, it’s the gravy” by mopping up the sauces with the naan.

Moreover, the reasonable prices and the power of numbers means the bill comes to a very excellent $83 – or about $14 each.

We all have a gander at Sharma’s wide sweets range before buying some to take back to our respective homes and heading out into the bleak Melbourne day.

Thanks for the company!

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Chadz Chickenhaus

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Chadz Chickenhaus, 475 Ballarat Rd, Sunshine.

It seems I may have hit Chadz Chickenhaus at a not particularly auspicious time.

There’s quite a few people milling about the front counter/bain-marie, waiting for various takeaway orders. Progress seems to be slow even though staff members are rushing here and there.

Despite having a somewhat rocky relationship with Filipino food, to me the bain-marie contents look pretty good.

But I stick with Plan A – I’ve come here to try their butterflied chicken and chips.

A little under half the tables are occupied, but all of them are littered with debris from previous meals and previous patrons.

Plates, bowls, cutlery, cans, straws, chicken bones and all sorts of food are all over the place – including on the floor.

After I place my order – half chicken chips with a can of soft drink ($10) – things look up as a young man starts to slowly clear the mess away. Slowly but methodically.

He gives it away, though, after clearing every table except mine. The floor stays the same.

I am summoned to the front counter to pick up my meal.

The serviette dispenser is empty.

The chips are poor and not hot enough, and the sweet, sticky sauce from the chicken has about half of them sodden.

I eat most of them anyway, on account of being hungry.

The chicken is just OK – far short of the sensation for which I am hoping. A bit tired and scrappy, lacking zing.

It’s tender enough, though, and the sauce is quite nice.

Average is the word.

As I leave, the scraps of my lunch join those of the table’s previous tenants.

Loving the sort of food we do at Consider The Sauce, and the kind of places that produce it, we learn to not be too fussy, to go with the flow and happily accept and even expect and joyfully embrace ups and down of various kinds with good humour and optimism.

We don’t like, want or expect fine dining or the service levels that go with it.

But … maybe just a bad day, eh?

For a different perspective on Chadz Chickenhaus, check out the review at Footscray Food Blog.

 


Mishra’s Kitchen – another look

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Mishra’s Kitchen, 18 Wembley Ave, Yarraville. Phone: 9314 3336

Our adventures have taken us elsewhere since our first visit to Mishra’s Kitchen, but we are delighted to grab a last-minute opportunity to step out for a quick midweek dinner.

The place still has something of the feel of a sandwich shop, but it’s more Indian restaurant these days.

In any case, we find the vibe charming.

As are the friendliness and service.

Moreover, we tell our waiter that we are here for a quickie bite, not for a night out – it’s already late-ish on a school night and we desire not to tarry.

Our meal comes quickly, efficiently and full of flavour.

Maybe it’s time for a new rule for us – stop ordering stuffed breads.

Our Kashmiri naan ($3.50) and mint paratha ($3.50) are good.

But really, the fillings – a fruity mince in the former, mashed spuds in the latter – seem to add nothing to our eating experience.

Could be plain old chapati, paratha, naan is the way to go for us henceforth – cheaper for sure, and quite possibly more in harmony with the curries we order.

Ordering chicken korma ($11) is an easy choice given Bennie’s enthusiasm based on a delicious experience shared with his mum on another visit.

It’s a good call – this is the sort of distinctive dish that make us love places such Mishra’s Kitchen or Yummy India in Deer Park and their super honey-infused lamb lajawab.

My photo is misleading.

For starters, there’s a lot more chicken in there than appears to be the case.

Nor does the pic convey, of course, the mild yet rich flavour of the gravy.

This korma sauce consists of almonds, cashews, yogurt, a little coconut, mace, white pepper, garlic, ginger and onions.

Also used are kewra water, a sort of Indian version of rose water made with pandanus flowers, and a sprinkling of raisins.

So different, so good!

Aloo gobi ($9) is more along the lines of routine curry house fare – a nice mushy blend of cauliflower, spuds and spices.

I like it fine, Bennie finds it just a tad too spicy.

It’s been lovely to revisit Mishra’s Kitchen and find it can easily fit into the quick meal context.

Chef Sanjeev suggests next time we try one of the fish dishes.

We’ll be taking him up on that – maybe it’ll be way of boosting the lad’s current and profound lack of enthusiasm for just about anything fishy.

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Fifty-Six Threads Cafe

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This guest post has been written for us by Consider The Sauce pal Peppy/Karen. You can read her reviews at Urbanspoon here – as you’ll see, she’s very much on the same page us! Thanks for the cool company, fine conversation and the write-up!

Fifty-Six Threads Cafe, 56 Derby St, Kensington. Phone: 9376 6885

This one is a diamond in the rough – newly opened Fifty-Six Threads Café sits at the bottom of the imposing brown public housing block on Derby St in Kensington.

The name is a combination of the street number (56), with the “Threads” representing all of the different cultures and communities entwined like thread – very fitting for the latest social enterprise by AMES in conjunction with Urban Communities, in which the “main objective is to provide employment and training opportunities for new migrants”.

How good is this?  Get a good feed and help those who are new to our shores obtain hospitality skills!

After following Consider The Sauce since moving to the area 12 months ago, I finally got around to telling Kenny how much I liked what he was doing in his blog. Less than a week later we had arranged to meet to check this place out for lunch.

Both Kenny’s blog and Footscray Food Blog have been favourites of mine since moving to this side of the city and they have helped me to discover the amazing places to eat and go to on the west-side, so I am honoured to be able to contribute a review to CTS.

What is nearly as important as the food to me is the service, and this place won me over as soon as I walked in – very friendly and welcoming.

Nothing seemed like too much trouble and I think they were genuinely interested in making sure that we enjoyed our meal there. The fit-out is full of timber and cool suspended lighting – honestly, you could be at any of the fancy new cafes in the area sitting in the sun-drenched dining area.

Now on to the food!

The menu is split into two sections, All Day Breakfast and Weekly Specials.

Sadly the chick pea chips had sold out (cry) so Kenny went with the chick pea, bacon and thyme broth ($8) and I went with the Beetroot tamarind and dill spring rolls ($12).

I must admit I did have a bit of food envy when Kenny’s huge bowl of chick pea goodness arrived – it was a generous serving of bacon and vegetables cooked with garlic, carrot, onion and of course chick peas with two slabs of sourdough just waiting to be dipped in.

However, when my spring rolls arrived I think we both ordered winners.

The substantial cigar-sized spring rolls were filled with chards of rich beetroot that the chef tells me were cooked in a sauce consisting of tamarind and rosewater syrup – I will be on the lookout for a bottle of this when I’m in the Asian grocers next time.

I have a crop full of beetroot at home that I need to use and this was such an awesome way to cook it.  The pastry on the spring rolls was crisp and flaky, the salad was fresh and the orange segments were a great addition.

I love a good mayo, too, and could have probably done with 10 of those little pots as it tasted so good.

I also had a latte, which was from the Social Roasting Company – couldn’t fault it.  They also have a coffee loyalty card system there as well – bonus!

I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to go and check it out for breakfast and lunch the next day, so I dragged the husband out for a snack.

We shared a 56 Threads Breakfast ($15) and the pita bread pizza with chorizo ($8).

OMG you must try this pizza out – it was a cheesy, meaty, saucy plate of awesome.

The breakfast was everything it should be – well cooked and runny poached eggs. Oh and the red onion jam – far out loves it sick – all big breakfasts should come with a serve of this.

And don’t think I didn’t take home a freshly cooked almond and apple muffin, a little slice of baklava and a plum jam tartlet – all amazing.

I wish there were more homemade goodies to take home – I bet those chefs out the back have lots of awesome recipes for cakes and slices – or maybe I just came on a day where they were cleaned out of the cakes.

I honestly just love this kind of initiative that supports the neighbourhood – sometimes I feel that I don’t do enough when it comes to being an involved citizen of my new community.

I wish I had more time and money to give.

When I went to pay (by the way, they accept Visa/Mastercard) I had to double check the amount due – after the quick (bad) calculation in my head I could have sworn I needed to pay more.

The guy behind the counter tells me “it’s not all about the money”.

Amen to that!

It was lovely to meet up with you for lunch Kenny, hopefully more of us western suburbs food addicted bloggers can get together again soon!

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Corio Bay Roadhouse

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Corio Bay Roadhouse, 383 Melbourne Rd, Corio, Geelong. Phone: 5275 120

The Corio Bay Roadhouse has the look to go with the name.

There are frequently trucks parked outside.

My waitress has a big, wide smile and tattoos on her fingers.

A month or so before my visit, the place had been burgled then torched by the same culprits, but happily this local landmark is up and running again.

Despite having driven past it twice on each working day of the past couple of years, I’ve taken my time about checking this place out.

Maybe that was to do with some of scant online information I was able to find referring to burgers stacked up like soldiers in a bain marie.

Yes, they’re here but there’s plenty of scope for fresh-cooked food, too.

Of course, this being a temple and monument to good nutrition and healthy eating, there’s a lot of frying going on.

Sarcasm aside, this place does good diner-style grub.

If I lived around here, this is where I’d come instead of hitting any of the various franchises that dot this same strip of highway.

My open burger with chip is an immense amount of food for $12.

The chips are good and the bacon really fine and crispy.

The egg is gooey and runny, but I doubt it’s free range.

Given the food genre, I’d happily do without the vegetable quotient and pay even less.

The burger itself is just OK – along the  same lines as those served up by the Embassy Taxi Cafe.

If you want to go without unmeaty trimmings, then the $15 mixed grill could be for you.

Even the magazine rack keeps the ambiance going.

I figure it’s probably a good thing this place is not open when I’m driving past on my way home after a night shift.

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Cafe Advieh

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Cafe Advieh, 71B Gamon St, Seddon. Phone: 0432 241 276

More often than not, Bennie gets over-ridden when it comes to choosing where we go to eat.

He’s a bit of a homebody at heart, so his dad’s wandering eye often has his eyes rolling.

He tolerates with good humour my restless adventuring.

But, really, instead of the long haul to Coburg or Deer Park – or even Sunshine or Moonee Ponds – he’d generally stay at home or within walking distance.

Today he gets his way – and we have a spectacularly fine lunch as a result.

We’d taken Cafe Advieh for a review outing early in its life, and have been back periodically – mostly ordering what we had the first time, the mixed grill plate.

Today we take a different tack.

Bennie’s small dips platter ($10.50) looks rather modest in size but does the job.

He likes the two stuffed vine leaves, preferring them unheated as they as they hold their form better.

He likes all the dips, but rates the eggplant number the highest.

I try it – and as on previous visits am knocked out.

This coarsely textured take on a classic is simply wonderful, with a robust smokiness.

The serving of toasted Turkish bread is in correct proportion to the amount of dipping fodder, and that’s even with dad filching some to have with his meal. He lets me eat most of the kalamata olives, too!

This puts to shame the lacklustre dips platters served at so many cafes.

My zucchini plate ($14.50) has more of the same very good hummus and yogurt, cucumber and dill.

The latter goes well with my zucchini fritter.

This, too, is unheated and all the better for it. It’s quite wide but rather thin, nicely salty, and its unheated stature gives it a nice leathery chewiness. Leathery in a totally good way!

My two salad choices are amazingly, lip-smackingly fine.

The coleslaw is not so much slaw in the common mayo meaning of the word but more a regularly dressed salad. Its mix of two types of cabbage, onion and carrot is homely, crunchy, heavy with lemon and utterly moreish.

So often I’ve been served – often, surprisingly, in kebab places that should know better and care more – tabbouleh that is an unappetising jumble of dry, undressed parsley and bulgar.

As far as I’m concerned – and based somewhat on repeated makings of the version found in Claudia Roden’s Arabesque – it should be damp almost to the point of dripping wet.

As it is here, with even more of a lemon accent than the coleslaw.

On the evidence of this lunch and others, Cafe Advieh has mastered the terrific trick turning out food that is refined but also has more than a few rough edges.

That is likewise reflected in a slice of tremendous house baklava ($4) with which I reward Bennie for making such a great lunch call. As on previous visits, it’s luscious and heavily scented with individually identifiable spices.

As a friend sitting at an adjacent table – Hi, Peter! – remarks, this is Middle Eastern food that seems less like restaurant fare and more like home cooking.

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Yummy India

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Yummy India, 21 Westwood Drive, Deer Park. Phone: 8337 0760

Yummy India in Deer Park has long been on our radar and finally the day has arrived.

We just didn’t think that in a million years the day would arrive on a Good Friday.

We’d already made Good Friday plans that involved the eating of Lebanese food in Coburg, but then the Yummy India folk posted on their Facebook page the day before that, yes, they’d be open over Easter – including for Good Friday lunch.

Really?

A pre-drive phone call ascertains that all is good and as advertised, so off we go.

The allure of Yummy India has for us is certainly to do with the pursuit of a good feed.

But it must be confessed the appeal is also undoubtedly to do with the restaurant’s location – on a Deer Park industrial estate and surrounded by fencing and swimming pool companies.

Of course, on this Good Friday there’s not a lot of traffic or any other kind of business going.

Like us, our mate Tony is transfixed and delighted by the sheer perversity, magicality and uniqueness of such a setting for such a restaurant.

Unsurprisingly, we are the only Good Friday lunch customers, although the service we receive is of the highest order and very friendly.

Our genial waiter tells they expect some takeaway orders and more trade by dinner time.

He certainly does the right thing by us right from the start be preventing us from over-ordering in a spectacular fashion.

The sort of rich and hearty food available here is quite a ways removed from the dosas, snack food and cut-rate thalis that are our normal Indian fare.

Nevertheless we’re out with a good friend and prepared to spend some money in order to get a fulsome, well-rounded lunch.

Three entrees, three mains and all the bits and pieces?

No, no, we are told – that’s too much.

And so it proves to be.

When asked about spice levels, I say – over Bennie’s protests – that medium will be fine.

Our entrees – which are at the upper end of our spice capacities – prove Bennie correct, and luckily we are in time to have the rest of our meal adjusted towards the mild end of the spectrum.

We are still learning our way with Indo-Chinese food, but that learning is involving increasing levels of enjoyment.

Apart from spice levels a tad too high for us, chilli and garlic mushrooms ($11.95) and chicken 65 ($12.95) have the high levels of oil we are coming to expect from this kind of food.

Moreover, despite the different names the flavours of both seem very similar, and the chook and mushie protagonists chewy where elsewhere I’ve enjoyed a more explosive crispness.

Not to be too picky, though – we enjoy both.

These are, of course, rather pricey for what are listed as entrees, but the serves are very big.

That trend continues with our main course curries and even the super large serve of raita ($3.50).

Indeed, I’m pretty sure the metal pots in which our curries arrive are bigger than those used in many other Indian restaurants of this type.

Nawabi chicken ($13.95) is, I’m told, based on a cashew nut gravy with your standard Indian spices and some tomato paste.

There’s some whole cashews, too, and what seems to be largish chunks of chicken breast are tender.

It’s  good, rich chicken curry.

The lamb lajawab ($12.95) is our meal’s highlight.

It, too, is based on a cashew nut gravy.

But this one is heavily laced with honey, giving it an aromatic flavour that is unlike that of any curry any of us have previously tried.

It’s delicious!

The lamb pieces are on the small side, and there’s not that many of them, but the meat is tender and lovely.

Apart from the advertised nuts and spices, I suspect both our curries also likely have a cream quotient on board, but if we were going to get squeamish about such things we would never have come.

Our garlic naan ($3.50) is oddly unbuttered and even quite crispy but still fine.

The aloo paratha ($3.50) has an obvious and oily sheen, but is quite good, too.

Despite a few mis-steps, Yummy India has restored our faith in the value of more formal, “special occasion”, expensive and rich Indian food.

The prices seem very typical, but the serves are large. Our lunch fare ends up costing us about $22 each, which is very good value indeed.

Where else would you get such a fine Indian meal on a Good Friday lunch-time?

And certainly, parking is never going to be a problem here, no matter the time or day.

(For those seeking lighter food, Yummy India also does idli, vada and dosas.)

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Hoyts, Highpoint

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Hoyts, Highpoint.

The Highpoint Hoyts movie that was involved has long been forgotten.

But the consequences of asking for the smallest possible soda pop drink and smallest possible container of popcorn at the concession stand have been in force for quite a few years now.

So exorbitant was the price quoted, so great the shock, that I have maintained the momentum ever since of NEVER, EVER paying for in-house moving crap.

But today I relent – only to find my own personal willpower has all the rigidity of a wet noodle.

As with our family and friends gathering at Grill’d a year before, this is a Bennie birthday celebration, although in this case somewhat belatedly.

For company, we have our mate Rakha, who was enlisted for Consider The Sauce duty in our appraisal of Yummie Hong Kong Dim Sum.

While I know it’d be easier and maybe cheaper to merely wander around the corner to the Sun Theatre in Yarraville, that simply doesn’t have the same frission or buzz for a boys’ day out.

So Highpoint it is.

And it’s Grandma’s shout!

We have preserved money allocated by her and her loving ways specifically for this purpose.

So Highpoint and over-priced movie munchies it is.

As part of some sort of mid-week daylight hours deal, all our tickets cost a reasonable $11 each.

Without being too heavyhanded, I convince the boys that the “medium 2-drink combo” at $18.80 is the deal for them.

I still consider it a ripoff, but in truth and given the outing’s context, this deal doesn’t seem too bad at all.

I utter stern words about confiscating their drinks for a while in case they get carried away with salt-inspired slurping that may require even more soft drink expenditure before the popcorn is anywhere near finished.

After we are seated, I lose it completely.

I have a mouthful of popcorn.

And another.

Before I know it, popcorn lust has completely consumed me.

And I am taking hefty slips of Bennie’s Coca Cola stuff along the way, between popcorn sorties that are tantamount to elbowing my movie mates out of the way.

It is Bennie, not I, who – while the trailers are still running – proclaims: “No more popcorn until the movie starts!”

After a few minutes, I hear Rakha mutter something along the lines of: “Hey how about some more popcorn?”

I almost whimper in full-blooded sympathy.

MORE. POPCORN. NOW.

The popcorn and soft drinks last some way into the movie proper.

I am shocked, however, by the really high amount of unpopped corn that becomes part of our scarfing as the bucket goes lower than a quarter full.

These are hard little grenades just waiting to detonate into oblivion Very Expensive Dental Work.

I go slower and more carefully.

Eventually, even the boys give it up.

As for the movie, I have done my research and the portents all look good.

John Carter has been cheerfully slagged by such august figures of the film critic world as David Stratton and widely reported as being the biggest, most expensive movie flop of all time!

Awesome!

Moreover, it is based on a story by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

I have been gently trying to entice Bennie from his otherwise admirable fondness for vintage period Marvel and DC comics into the sometimes noirish otherwordly realms of his dad’s fantasy and scifi interests.

I even bought a cheapo paperback version of the The Land That Time Forgot trilogy to see if he’d rise to the bait, so this flick’ll do us fine!

I am entirely correct – this is a beaut popcorn-style movie.

While we all find it hard to follow at times, we all groove on its whacko, campy mix of scifi, (wild) western, fantasy, sword and scorcery epics,  Star Wars and more.

The computerised landscapes and their stark beauty evoke, for me, not just Burroughs but also the writing of the likes of Leigh Brackett and Robert E. Howard.

Cracking!

On the way out, I ponder once more the potentially calamitous threat posed by all that unpopped corn.

What if … one of them did its worst, with the result my dentist was heard to say: “Sorry, Kenny, that’s root canal for you – and another $15000!”

Kaching!

What if … that happened?

What would Hoyts have to say about it?

Does the company even have a policy regarding unpopped corn and dentistry?

The Highpoint in-house Hoyts junior management representative, Jessica, fields my queries with grace and humour – but confesses such issues are well out of her area.

She gives me the number of a Melbourne-based Hoyts media staffer, from whom I am awaiting a return call as we go to press.